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i may have written about this before, but i cherish my name quite a bit. it’s a little surprising because i used to hate it. i don’t know. i guess it really isn’t so much the name itself but rather the way other people use it.

i’m not really one of those people who are like, “if you’re not close to me, you can only call me this.” no, i’m not like that. in fact, it makes me really happy when people feel they can casually address me by the shortened version of my name. it might be something they do instinctively because it has less syllables, but i completely adore it. i might not say anything, but it does make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

it makes me feel like i don’t need to be a stranger to someone else if they’re comfortable enough to use it (obviously doesn’t apply to those i’m already close to). it’s a bit of a backwards concept because i’m never ever the first one to open up; that’s not how i develop my networks, unfortunately. i don’t know any other way other than to rely on the other person’s personality to offset mine.

that being said, as awesome as it is, i do draw lines. for instance, i don’t expect my hypothetical doctor to call me anything but my given name, nor do i expect it from my professors unless i’m chummy with them or we’re close enough in age and i’m not taking your class. it’s not that it bothers me or offends me, but it feels really strange. the first thing i always think of is, “… but we’re not really close. we’re close, maybe, but we’re not close.”

and really, it’s a way for me to set my boundaries. i love when i can be open with people, but i do like some of my walls intact.

get it?

Canvas  by  andbamnan